It’s been a while since I’ve posted…the longest break since I started this venture…three months. I lost my mom at the end of April, and it has made me reflect so much on the magnitude of a mother-daughter relationship. I debated whether this was too personal to post at The Lounge, but I can’t imagine not giving my mom a tribute here. As a journalist, my goal is to make sure every story here follows our editorial guidelines and focuses on the business of motherhood, and I think this story fits on many levels.
My mom was incredibly organized. What I love to do on spreadsheets and apps, she did on notecards, meticulous files, and paper systems that could rival that of any computer. She ran my dad’s optical practice for 30+ years on paper and adding machines. No computer, no iPhone, just paper and an incredibly organized and methodical approach at work, with a rotating chore wheel (dog, dishes, dinner) at home. She was a major inspiration to me on many levels, and certainly in my approach to motherhood. We all learn from our moms, things we want to take into our own generation, things we don’t. But as a close friend pointed out to me recently about why this loss is so painful, moms are our oldest historian. They hold our history in their belly for 9 months, in their arms for dozens of years, and in their hearts forever. Who else has that kind of tenure with us? No one. (Dads certainly have an incredibly powerful and long-tenured role as well, and I would never discount that, but with the development of our every organ happening inside Mom, she’s got an edge).
While I was helping my dad find something, I came across a worn manilla folder with a typewriter-typed label, “The Business of Motherhood.” That was the first name and inspiration behind this blog, and my tagline to this day. My mom wasn’t storing all of her mothering organization in that folder…she was keeping track of my adventure. Early newspaper articles, my email announcement printed out when I told family and friends I was doing this, some blog posts she liked, etc. That’s good old-fashioned love. That’s support and pride for your kids and what they care about.
So I hope they get to read blogs in heaven, because if they do, here’s another hug to a mom I miss every day, and who was my first teacher and mentor in the most important job I have, being a mom.
P.S. Six short months after I lost my mom, my dad passed away. My parents’ love was one for the record books. I didn’t write specifically about my dad’s passing. In fact, it was months before I could write at all…They’re both in my heart and on my mind every single day. Even though this site is “mom-centric,” there’s no doubt that dads play a huge role in our lives, in parenting, and in teaching us how to be moms.