Provocative book title, huh? Thanks to Author Deborah Gilboa, M.D., a family physician, mom of 4, and parenting expert, who developed the “3 R’s of Parenting” to empower parents to raise respectful, responsible, and resilient kids. Her book, Get the Behavior You Want, Without Being the Parent You Hate, will be available Sept. 10, and she’s provided an advance excerpt of some of her wonderful tips for The Lounge…
Gilboa provides some great intel on several different ages and stages…
6 Things Parents Can Stop Doing Today
1. Have a toddler? You can stop trying to fix every problem.
Our toddlers have some stress in their lives! And about half the time we have no idea what the problem is. Instead of driving yourself up a wall trying to guess what’s wrong and solve it, just show your little one a little empathy. Feelings – even stress – help kids change and learn. You don’t have to smooth each obstacle as long as she knows you’re there and you care about her feelings.
2. Have a preschooler? You can stop tripping over toys in your own bedroom.
Your bedroom is your sanctuary. You might invite your kids in, but that doesn’t mean it’s a playroom or second kitchen. Make a couple of museum-like rules for your bedroom, like kids may not:
This will teach your kids that your bedroom is special, and should be treated with respect – just like you.
3. Have a 5-7 year old? You can stop carrying stuff in from the car.
Most of what you bring into your home from your car benefits the whole family. Groceries, packages, bags, even your work stuff, all are necessary for your home to function. Give a call when you’re headed home and let the minions know you have loads for them to carry inside. Yes, they’ll have to stop what they’re doing to help, and that is a great lesson – we all pitch in when there’s work to be done
4. Have a 8-10 year old? You can stop doing the family’s laundry.
What?! Yes! Your 3rd grader can do the laundry.* All of the necessary gross motor skills have been mastered, and this is not a complicated task, just a long and boring one. Did you know there are universities using academic time to teach this skill? Laundry is a great challenge for a child, and a wonderful task to take off your own list so that you can do other things. How do I know that kids this age can handle carrying, sorting, washing, drying and folding? Because I did, and now my kids do. Trust me, you’ll love it!
*Go ahead and keep your delicates out.
5. Have a tween? You can stop waking them up for school.
The skill of setting an alarm clock (and getting up when it rings) takes time to learn. Start now! And make the advantages of doing so really clear: a ride to school instead of walking, or extra time in the evening after homework before bed. Of course, that means walking to school if they oversleep or going to bed early – because obviously if they’re too tired to get up in the morning, they need your help to get extra sleep.
6. Have kids of any age? You can stop trying to make them happy!
Happiness is lovely, and often a part of childhood. It’s also your child’s responsibility. It is not:
I know this sounds crazy. But think about it. Our goal as parents is not to furnish a fleeting sense of satisfaction to our children. Instead, our goal as parents is to raise our kids to find and create their own happiness. What if, instead of asking ourselves “Is my child happy?” we start asking, “Is my child learning and growing?”
About the Author: Parenting expert, Deborah Gilboa, M.D. aka “Doctor G” is a family physician, mom of 4, international speaker, author and TV personality. She developed the “3 R’s of Parenting” to empower parents to raise respectful, responsible, and resilient kids. Her book, Get the Behavior You Want, Without Being the Parent You Hate will be released September 10, 2014 and is available on Amazon.com.
This infographic really caught my eye. Thanks to Tara Heath, journalist, and Teen Safe for sharing this amazing infographic, illustrating how and where our kids are connected, and how we can use this information to stay more connected to our kids.
First, some background from Tara…
Today, 78% of teens own a smartphone and they are attached to it all day long. In a recent survey taken by Bank of America, nearly half of all Americans say they wouldn’t last one day without their smartphones, and that includes teenagers. But the question is – what do these social butterflies occupy their time with on that device of theirs?
The infographic below, provided by Teen Safe, gives us a little peak into the social life of the app-addicted teen. From the moment they wake up to the last thing they look at before falling asleep, smartphones dictate how many teens spend their day. Apps like Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, and Vine all have a huge teen following and make it easy to stay glued to the screen for hours on end.
As a parent, you might feel a little bit out of tune Read more
This week’s #MomTatic find is a new book on the comedy and drama of motherhood. Can you imagine if motherhood was this easy…kids complying “because we said so” …. Thought provoking for sure!
Here’s a quick note on a new book that may add some humor to your day, with some thoughtful stories along the way…
“Because I said so.”
It’s the answer that rolls off the tongues of mamas from all over. In Because I Said So: Life In The Mom Zone, veteran mom Annie Oeth tells of the worries, laughter and sheer terror of being a mother.
Trips to the emergency room, college graduations and the dangerous combination of teenagers and fireworks are all fair game in this romp through southern motherhood. Spilling the (jelly)beans on Easter egg hunts, Santa Claus and frogs in mailboxes, Annie Oeth writes of life, love and raising children while hanging on to her sense of humor.
From stories of laughter to tales of tears shed, she remembers her own growing-up years in small-town Mississippi, her parents’ 44-year romance and her own children’s travels on their way to adulthood, crafting stories that will touch hearts and funny bones.
Anyone who’s ever rocked a baby, worried over a teenager or seen family game night degenerate into a knock-down, drag-out can relate to these life lessons, straight from The Mom Zone.
Mamas are tender-hearted, but don’t mistake their kindness for an absence of backbone. In these stories, the love, strength, humor and super powers of mothers are hailed for the wonders that they are. Whether you’re a mama to sons who have an affection for reptiles and bottle rockets or a daughter who thinks you’re wrong just when you’ve figured out your own mother was right, you’ll love yourself, your kids and your life more after this read.
“Because I Said So.”
About the Author:
A lifelong Mississippian, Annie Oeth is a graduate of Mississippi University for Women. She currently works as a features editor for The Clarion-Ledger, the state’s largest daily newspaper. She writes about family and fun and The Mom Zone blog. Annie is the author of Because I Said So: Life in The Mom Zone, which was published in April 2014. She is a solo mom to four, and currently resides in Ridgeland, Mississippi. Connect with Annie on Facebook and Twitter.
Thanks to An Apple Per Day‘s Kaitlin Gardner for this guest post on pool safety. So timely given the summer heat and pool season…
Have the pool inspected. Have a professional check out the pool equipment, to make sure it’s all in proper working order. Verify there are no exposed wires in the electrical wiring and outlets. Make sure the decking doesn’t have chipped tiles that could stub a young toe. Does the pump system have a safety vacuum release system? This makes the pump system shut down if there is a blockage on the drain. Here are some resources I found that gave more details:
Install a fence. Make sure it is at least 4 feet high, with a gate and locking mechanism.
Secure pool chemicals. For example, a shed behind it with a lock on it can be used to store pool chemicals. Make sure chemicals aren’t accessible by the children.
Establish pool rules. Discuss safety rules for kids such as only swimming when an adult is supervising, “no running,” and continue to reinforce and even post the rules where kids will see them.
A set of rules for Mom and Dad. The most important rule – no unsupervised swimming – means that kids aren’t allowed to swim unless their parents are with them. But that doesn’t mean a parent is in the backyard, texting friends while the kids are swimming. When an adult is supervising, that should be the only focus. It doesn’t take long for a child to gulp some water, get into a panic, and find themselves in trouble. Take CPR lessons, in case of an emergency.
Swimming lessons for the kids. Research shows that children greatly reduce their chances of drowning, if they have had formal swimming lessons, which can start around age 4.
Kaitlin Gardner started AnApplePerDay.com to further her passion for a family friendly, green living lifestyle. She just started her first book about living an eco-friendly, healthy, natural lifestyle.
Despite the fact that I’m in the “camp labeling belongings zone,” with 3 boys, I am constantly finding friends’ clothes here and watching my kids rummage through everyone’s drawers for “that t-shirt” that seems to have vanished. Keeping track of belongings is hardly a summer-only challenge; it’s definitely year-round. I remember growing up and watching my mom iron on labels, and as great as that was, I got a C- in ironing (joke, but probably one of my least favorite things to do).
I found these stick-on labels through Label Daddy, and they are a great invention! You stick them on the clothing label, and they’re easy to apply; easy to read; easily customizable. Label Daddy just made things really EASY! I also reviewed some specialty labels for shoes; trash cans (ours constantly blow down the street!); sports equipment; and more. They’re really great, and pay for themselves if you recover just one item or so. And, since they’re so easy and without safety hazards (bye, bye iron!), kids can get involved in the labeling process as well … why not share the tasks?
And…to make it even sweeter, they’re offering MomTini readers a 20% discount off orders! Just enter “MomTini” in the promo code box during the checkout process.
Check them out at LabelDaddy.com
Disclaimer: I received products to facilitate my review, but opinions expressed are all my own.
Whether your kids are in day camp, sleep-away camp, or your family is enjoying some fun at home, here are some ideas and MomTastic summer headlines you may find useful…
Hope you have a GREAT summer!
Love infographics…especially really well-done ones like THIS that are so timely for Mother’s Day. Happify recently published in such an easy to follow and pretty format (ok, fine, I love pink!), survey findings, “What You Should Know about Moms & Happiness.” I totally agree that “motherhood is a defining event” and think their storytelling in this infographic is truly #MomTastic.
Here’s the full story…enjoy!
This is such a great, colorful & yummy Mother’s Day Gift Idea, and came with some fun survey data I wanted to share. Edible Arrangments surveyed moms to help decode their “secret language” about what they really want for Mother’s Day. Here are some highlights:
So, for what “not to buy,” according to the survey:
The top three gifts NOT to get mom, in order, are: drugstore candy, generic bath products or the “same old flower arrangement.” Fifty percent of moms said the number one way to improve Mother’s Day this year is to “surprise me with an unexpected gift.”
I think they’re trying to say that thoughtfulness wins every time…I agree! My son asked me what I wanted, and without hesitation, I told him the homemade cards I’ve received have been my all-time treasures…I’ll be reading from the archives, and hopefully enjoying some new ones while enjoying some yummy fruit thanks to Edible Arrangements this year!
We’ve sent Edible Arrangements to friends for happy (& sad) times, and they’re always a crowd pleaser – it’s like sending a treat and a centerpiece all in one…I’m a fan!
Disclosure: A Mother’s Day Edible Arrangement was provided as compensation for this post. The ideas expressed, however, are all mine!
Happy Mother’s Day! Even though this is a “repeat,” I wanted to share this silly “got milk” photo with my own mom, as I share some ideas and Momspiration for you!
Here’s a roundup of some ideas we’ve shared to help make this holiday #MomTastic!
However you celebrate, I wish you a wonderful, relaxing, MomTastic Mother’s Day with your family!
Thanks to Linda Bailey for this article on how and why you should enroll your kids in local sports. With 3 boys, we’re huge sports fans and the benefits would dominate this entire site – Linda addresses many of the key bonuses below….
Future Development: Enrolling Your Child in Local Sports
Sports can be a great way for children to learn a lot about themselves. So much can be derived from enrolling your child in an activity to promote knowledge and understanding in various situations. While it may be just a game to them, the child may not realize just how much of an impact the activity will have on them physically and mentally. How can sports assist in the future development of your child?
1. Teamwork - Your child will learn the value in teamwork and how it can be translated to virtually any situation in life. Each person has a unique talent that can benefit the greater whole. Discovering what that talent is and understanding how it impacts the team can be greatly rewarding.
2. Physical Fitness - Sporting activities of any kind can help encourage physical fitness. If you’re worried about your child turning in to one of those people that plant themselves on the couch in front of video games all day, then a physical activity could be what he or she needs to stay fit and healthy.
3. Social Interaction - Being part of a team sport throws your child into having social interaction whether he or she wants to or not. Although you should never force your child to play a sport, the social integration and development could be a bonus for future interactions.
4. Self-Discovery - Many children have dreams of becoming a star player on a professional team. Some will emulate their heroes while playing in order to feel like a champion. Without enrolling your child in a local sport, those dreams may never become more than what they are. Give them the chance to discover what they can do and whether or not they want to continue for themselves.
5. Encouragement - By paying for the equipment and the enrollment of any given sport, you are showing your child encouragement to succeed. Participate in as much of this activity as you can, and a bond will form between yourself and your child. You never know what your child can be capable of without encouraging their decisions to discover who they are.
Aside from the fact of the activity being fun for your child, enrolling him or her in local sports can have a ripple effect throughout the child’s life. It will provide memories and knowledge that could travel with them forever.
This post is contributed by Linda Bailey from http://www.housekeeping.org/. She is a Texas-based writer who loves to write on the topics of housekeeping, green living, home décor, and more.
Thanks to Kendal Perez from Hassle Free Savings for these great tips on how to “green up” your spring cleaning routine. She’s got some great food for green thought here on how to spring clean while protecting Mother Earth’s precious resources.
5 Ways to Green Up Your Spring Cleaning
We all want to be better patrons to our planet, and on the heels of Earth Day, it is a great reminder to be more conscious in our day-to-day activities. Since it falls in the midst of spring cleaning, the event represents a great time to green up our storage, organization and decorating practices. If you’d like to reduce your impact on the environment as you spruce your space for the season, try any of these ecofriendly strategies.
Open up your pantry door and you’ll likely find a ton of plastic containers. While convenient for storing dry goods, the process of making plastic is extremely harmful to the environment. Consider switching to glass and reusing jam and pasta jars to store rice, nuts, popcorn and the like. Not only is this a cost-effective solution, it’s also an aesthetic one; your pantry will never look prettier!
Did you hear? Tin cans are the new mason jars when it comes to home decor trends. Instead of tossing that empty can of whole tomatoes or green beans into the recycling bin, repurpose it into a vase with a little spray paint. Check out this article from Apartment Therapy for recommendations on low-VOC and eco-friendly paint that will help keep things green.
If only spring cleaning was truly limited to a single season! The process of keeping things neat and tidy is surprisingly wasteful. Americans use 13 billion pounds of paper towels every year, which requires 60 million gallons of water and over 50,000 trees to produce. Reduce your paper towel usage by substituting rags and microfiber towels when cleaning up. Simply toss these rags in the laundry and reuse!
4. Pest Control
Nothing stops you in your tracks faster than rodent droppings in cupboards or spiders in window corners. Instead of loading up on harsh chemicals and pesticides, spray baseboards and window sills with a water-peppermint oil mix to deter spiders and rodents naturally. Check out this video from AOL DailyFinance for more information on this combination, and drop harmful chemicals for good.
Transition your storage habits from paper to digital by scanning important documents and saving them “in the cloud” using free services like Dropbox. If you must print, look for ink cartridges through sites like InkjetWilly.com, where you can find compatible and remanufactured brands that work with your printer. By using remanufactured toner, Americans can save 38,000 tons of plastic and metal from being dumped in landfills.
Author Bio: Kendal Perez is a frugal blogger who helps fellow shopaholics find hassle-free ways to save money. As the Marketing Manager for Kinoli Inc., site manager for a family of money-saving websites, Kendal has the resources to be an extreme couponer but prefers a less complicated approach to staying in-budget. Kendal has been quoted in such media outlets as Woman’s Day, People StyleWatch, FOX, TIME Business & Money and Kiplinger’s Personal Finance. For savings tips and more information, visit HassleFreeSavings.com or follow Kendal on Twitter.
This “MomTastic Find” is a recent client’s public service campaign to educate kids about how to “Fuel Their Dreams” by fueling their bodies with powerful, healthy food choices.
Thanks to Kid Kritics Founder Ellen Briggs for sharing these nutrition tips for families. Through extensive research, the company’s ingredients standard board of 12 health professionals has managed more than 25,000 “Kid Kritics” in blind taste tests.
Research shows that having a healthy, balanced diet improves brain capacity, maximizes cognitive capabilities, and improves academic performance in school-age children. Alternatively, the research also shows that having too much junk food and an unhealthy diet decreases academic performance by limiting the amount of information to the brain. Source here.
Teach your kids about the connection between what they eat and drink and what happens inside their bodies. Once they learn that 100 billion neurons in their brain send thousands of messages so they can run fast, they are totally motivated to eat avocadoes and sweet potatoes so they can be the best they can be. Kids will eat healthy foods that taste good.
Don’t make broccoli a 4-letter word. Find ways to include fruits and vegetables in creative and varied ways, and your kids will love to experiment and add it to their menu.
Be transparent with your kids – they’re too smart. Rather than hiding, pureeing, masking vegetables, if you prepare and present them properly, kids will embrace vegetables and create healthy, lifelong habits.
You become what you eat and drink. However, kids need a reason to eat healthy food beyond “your mom said so.” So, for example, if a kid wants to be an NFL football player (a popular choice among boys) or a veterinarian (the number one pick among girls surveyed), educate them on what specific foods can “fuel their body for success.”
Don’t “dumb it down.” Kids are critical thinkers (love to ask and understand the “why”); they love to vote (power); and they appreciate being heard. Further, kids are egocentric, focused primarily on their own desires. Once kids understand WHY nutrition fuels success, they will crave it.
Check out the Fuel Your Dreams website for more great tips & resources, including searchable recipes that will fuel each body part.
Thanks to one of my favorite BFF’s Lorie M. for sharing this hysterical video. As a mom of boys and an admitted occasional helicopter mom :), this video will crack you up…check it out…
Ashley McCann writes about being a mom – and being frugal – at PushPenny.com. Named to Ignite Social Media’s “100 Women Bloggers You Should Read,” McCann shares some ideas to start and maintain a budget, including some free and some paid solutions. Also check out other articles on the topic here at The Lounge, “Money Matters” including our free downloadable budget spreadsheet, “Monthly-Annual Budget” (in the pink box). – Amy
Somewhere in the back of our busy mom brains, we know it’s wise to have a plan for our money. However, due to all of the other plans mom is in charge of making and maintaining, it’s easy to let that particular “to do” fall to the wayside.
Creating a budget doesn’t have to be another “mom-umental” task; use the following services to help save time while you work on saving money:
1. Mint.com–Quick, easy to set up, and seamless to incorporate into every day life, Mint.com is the budgeting solution for many. Best of all, it’s free! How’s that for budget-friendly? Mint does the work of analyzing your spending habits and presenting it back to you in handy, “I spent how much on fast food?!” charts and graphs. The program easily integrates with your bank accounts so that time investment is minimal and also features a phone app that makes it easy to track spending on the go.
2. YNAB–Although there is an upfront cost ($60), You Need a Budget is one of the most popular budgeting software systems on the market. The core idea of this program is knowing what needs to happen now so that you can handle whatever happens next. YNAB helps create spending categories for normal but unexpected-in-the-moment future purchases such as home and car repairs, and also sets users up to get a month ahead on their bills in order to get out of the rut that living paycheck to paycheck creates. Download the 34-day free trial to see if it meets your expectations.
3. Quicken–It’s been an industry leader for quite a while now, so Quicken is clearly doing something right. This software ($39.99) automatically syncs with your bank account, categorizes your spending and creates a budget based on past habits. The new “Snap and Store” feature allows you to quickly photograph your receipts for easy paperless access to them later.
4. Excel–With a little bit of spreadsheet-based knowledge and some dedication, you can create your own record of spending and saving with a program like Excel. Spreadsheet templates are available online to help get you started. Only the calculations will be automatic, so it requires a time investment and some involvement on your part, but that can be a good thing for fiscal accountability.
5. Financial Peace University– It’s slightly more time intensive than the other options, but if you are truly clueless about the whys or hows of creating and committing to a budget, this Dave Ramsey course might be just what the accountant ordered! This home or church based study program helps people rid themselves of debt, learn to spend and save wisely, and goes over how to set up a cash-based budget.
Now all you need to do is to pick the program that makes the most sense for your lifestyle and savings goals and begin the set-up process! Like most things, deciding to get started is the bulk of the work. Once you have a system in place, you’ll be spending and saving responsibly in no time. And don’t forget to financially forecast for that vacation you’ve earned!
Ashley McCann writes about being a mom – and being frugal – at PushPenny.com. Named to Ignite Social Media’s “100 Women Bloggers You Should Read,” her candid humor and frank advice puts a fresh spin on motherhood in the new millennium.
With winter lingering, it’s hard to think of summer jobs, but kids can earn money year-round with a little bit of effort and planning. Our boys grabbed snow shovels with the first snowflake, and learned a lot about teamwork, division of labor, and money management between siblings of different ages and abilities. Great life lessons.
Who doesn’t love a lemonade stand? It shows creativity, resourcefulness, and is a great way for kids to understand the value of work. This article gives kids a huge toolbox of ideas and resources to find ways to earn money. I remember my first jobs as a babysitter, as a cashier (loved that!), as a waitress. I learned so much about people and carry those lessons with me. (Please don’t ask about the time I forgot a customer’s order under the heat at Hot Shoppes and tried to deliver eggs that looked like they were from the Dinasour age…didn’t go well!).
Enjoy this guest post from Steven Cooper, founder of How to Make Money as a Kid, a great website loaded with free tips and resources to help kids create ways to earn cash. He shares some great tips and free downloads here at the Lounge – enjoy! – Amy
Make a plan now.
Why start now? Though summer is still a ways away, you can be ready and prepared to make money as soon as school gets out. You won’t have to waste potential time you could be earning money trying to figure how and what you’re going to do. You will get a jumpstart on other kids and get more clients. Let’s say you decided you wanted to mow lawns. If you figured out the logistics of your business and started pre-selling your services now, you could get all the potential business before any other kids or professionals do.
What is your why?
It is essential to have a goal for how much you want to earn. You’ll also want to know what you want to buy or do with all the money you earn. If you have an exciting goal then when the work gets tough you will push through and succeed.
Choose your idea.
If you cant think of an idea of how to make money this summer, you check out my list of 200 plus ideas for how to make money as a kid. Choose one and get feedback on the idea you choose from your parents. Editor’s Note: The site lets you sort ideas by age as well.
Get a mentor.
Find someone who can help you set up your business and give you an insiders view. With a mentor helping, you can try new ideas and feel confident you will succeed. Going back to the lawn-mowing example. A good mentor would be a professional landscaper. He would know the ins and outs of the business like how much to charge and how to do a good job. Learning from their advice could save you a lot of time and money by learning from their experience.
Develop a strategy.
Talk with your mentor and develop a strategy that will work for you. See what resources you will need and how you can get them. Decide how much to charge and think your business through as if you were your own customer. This will make sure that you have thought of everything that needs to be done.
Pre-sell your idea.
By pre-selling your idea, you can have clients already lined up before any other kids have even started to think about how they are going to make money this summer. If you find your idea is not selling, then talk to your mentor. If it’s still not working, consider trying something else. The good thing is that by starting now you haven’t wasted any time. You can start a new idea that works before summer hits.
Get everything you need to do your business in place. You might even want to start earning money after school and on the weekends. Get my kids’ business starting guide for free to help you through this process. Editor’s Note: Site asks for an email address first, but what a great resource he’s offering for free!
Author Bio: Steven Cooper is the man behind howtomakemoneyasakid.com. He was an entrepreneur as a kid and now provides how-to guides, 200 plus ideas, tips for parents and a community of kids networking and making money.